Everything happens for a reason... and Everyone in your life serves a purpose. But it's YOUR CHOICE how you react to it :)

I came across a quote online just a bit ago that I loved. I'm great for finding stuff like that and re posting. Not just anything though. I like to find stuff that really applies to me, my life and what I believe in. It has to really resonate with me. And this particular quote... really hit home.

"Try not to blame ANYONE in your life... for ANYTHING. They ALL serve a purpose. The Good people are there to give you happiness. The Bad people are there to give you experiences. The Worst people are there to teach you some of your most important lessons. And the Best people are there to give you some of your most precious memories."

I couldn't believe this ANY more. It's so true. And say what you want about it being cliche' etc... but I feel this is on point with every fiber of my being.

We all have people that come in and out of our lives all the time. Some people are great! Some are just plain terrible. Or they could start out great.. and end up terrible. Some people are there for the shortest amount of time that it feels like just and instant in the grand scheme of things... and others stay with you for a lifetime. It doesnt really matter how LONG someone is in your life. At least I dont think so. To me, it matters the impact they left on you. That's what really counts. But what I really love about the quote, was that it took the blame off of anyone else but yourself. Everyone has a purpose. Everyone is there for a reason. It just matters what you do with all of that.

On Saturday night, I shared some pretty personal info with my girlfriends. And the reaction sort of shocked me. It was a reaction of "Oh, my GOD, you poor thing, that's awful!" Which... I totally get. They're my friends. They care about me. They don't like when bad things happen to the people they love. I get that 150%. And I feel the same way about the people in my life. I'm usually more protective of them than I am myself, haha. But to me... that stuff that I was sharing that I'm dealing with or have dealt with... I dont want people to feel BAD for me because of it. Yes, it wasnt pleasant. Yes, no one should ever have to go through something like that. But I have to look at it as a learning experience for me. Every single bit of it has taught me something. About life, about myself... about how other people can act in a way that you just can't wrap your brain around. And there may be nothing you can do to change it. There are just some things that you need to accept for what they are.

I was talking to my boyfriend Sunday morning about some awful dreams I had the night before. They of course related to the topic of discussion that night. And I said how upset I was that I was still so angry and so full of hate. After all... the opposite of love isn't hate, right? It's indifference. And I am FAR from indifferent. I still feel everything is so emotionally charged. I feel all consumed with anger and hurt and really... hate. I feel almost poisoned by it. There's no other way to describe it.

I'm almost done with my Masters Program, and a good portion of it deals with holistic and spiritual counseling. So much of what I've learned and what I teach is about forgiveness. And I've said this before... a lot of what I preach and what I focus on in helping other people... are really things that I need to work on myself. It's all constant reminders to myself of what I need to be doing to help ME!

But having all that anger and frustration and hurt... doesnt make me appreciate those experiences any less. They are absolutely instrumental in how I'm choosing to live my life now. It makes me NEVER take for granted all the wonderful people I DO have in my life. It makes me focus on keeping the relationships I have with my friends and family and my boyfriend incredibly close to my heart and want them to be... the absolute best they can be.

I'm still working on the forgiveness part. That's not the easiest. But I know I can get there... Someday :) And to add to that... forgiveness doesn't mean that you forgive the act. Or that you'll ever allow the person back into your life again. I've already made my mind up that a line was crossed that you can't ever cross back. And I'm okay with that. It's not ideal. It's not how I ever wanted my relationship with this person to be. But the damage has been done, and I need to move on. What I mean about forgiveness is that I can't keep holding on to the anger and the hatred and the... poison... forever. I need to come to terms with the fact that this particular person did what they did... and I can't change it. They did the best they could (even though it may have been a piss poor attempt) and that's all they could do. End of story. They may have their reasons for having acted a certain way. They may actually believe they were doing the right thing on some level. Who knows. But they can't take it back. And I need to accept that.

Do any of you have any thoughts on forgiveness? Or moving on from a tough situation? Things that worked for you? Things that didnt? Does time really heal all wounds? :)

xoxo!
Julie :)